Hang on tight, spider monkeys.

The Twilight films — aka the 5 motion pictures tailored from Stephenie Meyer’s ultra-famous vampire romance collection — don’t seem to be precisely intended to be humorous.

They are in fact overwrought, dramatic, and suuuuper angsty! (Particularly whilst you watch them 10+ years later.)

There may be such a lot hokey discussion! So, in honor of getting a just right Twilight-related snigger, let’s checklist some some quotes out, lets?


“You higher grasp on tight, spider monkey.”

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OK, so Edward — a vampire — can leap actually prime and actually some distance. You would assume after greater than 100 years of being alive, he’d discover a extra eloquent / artful option to expose that data.


“You are like my very own non-public logo of heroin.”

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We get it. Bella smells just right to Edward. Edward needs to devour (or possibly giggle?) Bella. This line is so hokey, although.


“That is the outside of a killer, Bella.”

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His facial features actually drives the ridiculousness house.


“You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?!”

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For context, Jacob / werewolf (Taylor Lautner) imprints on Bella’s child daughter Renesmee in Breaking Crack of dawn Section 2, he calls her “Nessie” for brief. 


“Bella! The place the hell have you ever been, loca?”

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This New Moon greeting lives rent-free in my head within the worst imaginable approach.


“I suppose the wolf’s out of the bag.”


“Prevent seeking to take your garments off. It could be too past due for my soul, however I can offer protection to yours.”

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How dare your long-term female friend attempt to sleep with you! The horror! Lol.


“Aren’t other people from Arizona meant to be like, actually tan?”


“Does not he personal a blouse?”

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No, he does not, almost definitely as a result of Jacob’s garments get torn up each time he transforms right into a werewolf. 


“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…”

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Edward. Once more: you could have been alive for over a century. I do know you have got a greater analogy in you.


“Say it. Out loud. SAY IT.”

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I would not be scared both, TBH.


[Bella, about Edward] “About 3 issues I used to be completely sure. First, Edward was once a vampire. 2nd, there was once part of him — and I did not understand how dominant that phase could also be — that thirsted for my blood. And 3rd, I used to be unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”


“Each and every 2nd that I am with you is set restraint… and you might be too fragile.”



“I am precisely best for you Bella. It could be as simple as respiring with me.”


“, Jacob, if we were not herbal enemies, and you were not seeking to scouse borrow my reason why for present, I would possibly in fact such as you.”


“You are wounding my ego, Bella. I simply proposed to you and also you assume it is a shaggy dog story.”


[Jasper, voting to change Bella into a vampire]: “I vote sure. It could be great to not wish to kill you always.”


“You’ll be able to’t accept as true with vampires… Believe me.”


[Bella, after turning into a vampire]: “I will see what everybody’s been speaking about. Jake, you actually do stink.”


[Edward, to a newly turned Bella]: “We are the similar temperature now.”


Alice: “The fetus is not just right for Bella!”

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OK, I am getting that the Cullen fam is debating whether or not or now not Bella must keep pregnant with a half-vampire child, however… out of context, this “fetus” line is beautiful hilarious.


“So, this birthday party. Will there be strippers?”

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Edward: “Only some mountain lions, a pair grizzly bears.”


Charlie Swan: “Edward shall be a just right husband. I do know this as a result of I am a cop. I do know issues. Like methods to hunt any individual to the ends of the earth. And I understand how to make use of a gun.”


Jessica: “So, you assume Bella’s gonna be appearing?” Angela: “Jess, she isn’t pregnant!” Jessica: “Ok. Who else will get married at 18??”


“Bella, I’m hoping you could have gotten sufficient sleep those ultimate 18 years. As a result of you will not be getting anymore for some time!”

Did we put out of your mind any? What are your favourite humorous quotes from the Twilight films?

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